Writing helps me to work through my thoughts and emotions. I am more sensitive to hearing the Holy Spirit. It is in the stillness of my thoughts that I can relax enough to write my truth, to be completely open, honest and transparent.
Whenever I have quieted my mind, my default is to quietly say “thank you”, to praise Him, to speak through my heart to tell Him how much I love Him. That I need him and that if it were not for Him, even the silent conversations would not have been possible.
Scriptures jump into my head, assurances come to mind and I never get to the end of the journal feeling the same as when I started. I love God, he has never disappointed me, He has always loved me, through all my mess and all my mistakes.
The journey is much shorter now from mistake to forgiveness (or rather feeling forgiven). He quickly reminds me that I am not my sin and that He is greater than any mistake. His name is Mercy and he died on the cross just so that I don’t treat my sin like a sauna. The refreshing breeze of His Grace, cools, calms and blows away every fear and fault.
The journey is shorter because I am NOT my mistakes. I didn’t automatically become unrighteous because of an error. Right then I am reminded that his grace is sufficient, his power works best in my weakness. HIS GRACE, not my own. However, HIS righteousness has become my righteousness and that is where I reside… in HIM.
I take a deep breath and remind myself that God is still God … He is still …
Faithful Mighty Kind
Forgiving Wonderful Trustworthy
Loving Creator Patient
Holy Supreme Understanding
Eternal Just Jealous
Awesome Merciful Lord
So yes, I picked up my notepad to write my thoughts, all the confusing, sporadic and sobering thoughts. But this is what has dominated my mind instead …
GOD is still God and he knew every step before I took it. He will uphold me, he won’t allow me to fall, although I stumble; for His name sake, He will not allow me to be ashamed. For the Glory of Him, He will cover me and protect me, even from myself.
Since I am dead to sin, how can I continue to walk in it? I cannot, I will not!
You will be glorified in my life and you will make a way.
Teach me
Show me
Direct me
And strengthen me as I go …
I desire to do your will more than anything and I know that you will be my help.
(This is a journal from a few years ago when I was struggling with a particular sin. One thing is sure, at some point we all struggle with something, so please share and encourage someone else along their journey.)
Love Ya!
Krystal Baynes-Hoseinee
