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Journey of a Thousand Tears - A Testimony of Grace

One of my fondest memories of church is the laughter that filled the streets as the children from the church's neighbouring villages trekked home after vacation bible school at Spring Garden Moravian. As I pondered on all those treasured memories of singing, dancing, camping, hiking, beach trips, sleepovers, sports days and bible competitions during my earlier days at church, it was apparent that apart from my home and family environment, my church life has had the single largest impact in shaping my character and developing the very talents and gifts which I now sow into the Kingdom of God. I cannot recall a time when I was not heavily involved in my church, so when I stepped away from the Church and God, and stepped into the world, I experienced the true darkness that was in the world.

Though I had many years of church attendance under my belt, the stony ground of my heart could not nurture the Word which I received and believed at the tender age of 13. The lure of the world was too strong for my shallow roots. I, therefore, embarked on a journey of rebellion and self-gratification disguised as the freedom of adulthood. However, like the prodigal son I eventually plummeted to abysmal lows as I battled the betrayal and rejection of an unkind and unforgiving world. I could only imagine how the pungent stench of the pigsty was baked into his clothing and skin as he abjectly made his way back to the only place of safety he knew. Yet, when the father saw his son a long way off he ran towards him and embraced him. It was the kind of embrace that did not see his clothes, did not recoil at the rancid, nor considered his transgression. It took the blinding and debilitating pain of loss, and a journey of many tears to cause this wayward daughter to realise that she was safest in the fold of God. So she too went crawling back to her heavenly Father with all her stains and brokenness, and He gladly embraced her.

For a long time after my encounter with Jesus when I closed my eyes I would still see myself as a broken jar that was merely patched together. I still struggled with feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness despite my faith. One evening while I was attending a gospel concert, I released my heart to worship, and amid a crowd of thousands of people, the voice of the Lord audibly spoke to me and said, “Krystal, I Love You”. I immediately felt renewed and restored by this revelation and more importantly, I felt empowered to live authentically by embracing all my mistakes and failures on my unique journey to Jesus. This is one of the reasons I became so passionate about Christians knowing and fully embracing their new identity in Christ and their unique journey so that they could see themselves as God sees them, and then live purposefully in Him.

In the latter part of 2019 God kept saying that I was heading into a season of change. Little did I know that it wouldn’t be the obvious changes due to my upcoming marriage, neither was it because I was moving to a new church fellowship, nor was it the impending Covid-19 pandemic that upheaved everything and everyone at the start of 2020. God eventually revealed to me that ‘change’ meant that it was His predestined time for me to walk into a new sphere of purpose. The Lord was calling me to use all my experiences to positively impact others by sharing love, encouragement and support through the writings in my blog Imani, and into my first book ‘My Favourite Scriptures: A Devotional For New Believers’.

I deeply desired to share my personal experiences about the way these special scriptures transformed my life and ultimately how they can transform yours. 'My Favourite Scriptures' is a devotional that focuses on fundamental principles of God’s love, forgiveness, our new nature, submission and obedience to God, His blessings and provision, and His protection. It contains 30 reflections with an exhortation for each scripture verse that is followed by a short prayer, and closes with daily declarations to encourage you on your journey. Additional scriptures related to the topic and a song are included at the end of each reflection for further study and upliftment.

I pray for only good things, increase and an overflow of God's blessings for you and your family!

Love Ya,

Krystal Baynes-Hoseinee

The original piece was first published in the Moravian Church EWIP November 2021 Newsletter

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